So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
