His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
