He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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