In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
