maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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