Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
