I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
