woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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