Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
