you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
