I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
