She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
