my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
