office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
