you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
