direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I will pee on everything he values.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
