cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
