As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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