I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
