Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's shark week go big or go home
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize