is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
FUCK WHALES
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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