Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
