the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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