I'm gonna have a badass scar
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We have so much sex to catch up on
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize