i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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