just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
