watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This is my gift to your gina
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
