He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
