you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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