Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
