There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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