I just cut my nipple shaving
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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