So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Even my vagina gasped.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
