i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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