speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
