why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
