Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
this is an emotional support booty call
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
