I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize