Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
