did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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