Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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