in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
