Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize