the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
