Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
