I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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