God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
