hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
