I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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