bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
