Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I could fuck to npr.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
