go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
