hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
