taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
