honey bunches of taint.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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