I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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