There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
