Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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