I murdered the dance floor call the cops
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
